A tale of two gigs

My last two gigs could not have been more different. Stand up is a weird job because before every gig you have no idea what might happen, who'll be in the audience or what the room will be like. Although in the case of these two gigs, I had a pretty good idea what the night would be like when I got to the venue, and I turned out to be absolutely right.

On Friday I performed my first full 20 minute set at Banana Cabaret in Balham. It's a lovely club and I've always enjoyed my time there. This time was no exception. I played to a near sell-out crowd of people who were attentive, playful and intelligent. Everyone on the bill had a good gig and I enjoyed myself on stage more than I have in ages. I hadn't played to an audience of more than a hundred for a few weeks, and it's always very rewarding to be able to take a bit more time with the jokes, leave longer pauses, play with the timing. As I left the venue I thought: "That is why I do comedy!"

And then on Saturday I was at Loughborough University Freshers Ball. The contrast was extreme. The comedy was placed in the middle of a noisy bar that was also a thoroughfare between a smoking area and a dance floor. It didn't get going until nearly 11pm, and there were several of us booked to perform until 2am. Within seconds of the first act going on it was clearly a write-off. Nobody in the room was listening, partly because it was difficult to hear above all the ambient noise, and partly because they were very drunk students. They immediately started to shout, chant, heckle and jump in front of the stage. All of the acts tried to make something of the situation but it was a lost cause. By the time I went on at about 1am the room had calmed down a little, but my time was still spent dealing with 5 or 6 persistent, drunk and stupid hecklers and trying to tell a few jokes for the benefit of the 4 people who seemed to be actually listening. It wasn't exactly a tough gig - it just wasn't a gig at all. As I left the venue I thought: "That is what I hate about comedy!"

I'm going to Dundee tomorrow and then Edinburgh afterwards. I hope they're more like Friday than Saturday.

Otherwise I might cry.