Itchy Stitches

So I went to my GP a few weeks ago and mentioned that I had a mole on the side of my chest that was a bit itchy. She looked at it, said it was probably nothing to worry about, but that she'd send me to a dermatologist to check. Just to be on the safe side.

I saw the dermatologist a few weeks later and she had a look at it, said it was probably nothing to worry about but that perhaps I should have it removed. Just to be on the safe side.

So on Friday I went to the hospital to have it removed. The doctor looked at it and then she said: "why are you having this removed?" And I couldn't really answer. I wanted to say: "you're the doctor, why don't you figure it out?" But that seemed unnecessarily aggressive, and besides, she was just about to cut a chunk out of me, and I didn't want her to slip "by accident".

But to be honest, I wasn't really sure why it was being removed. Nobody had seemed that worried about it. I suspect there was an element of arse-covering going on. Much better to remove it than leave it and then get blamed if there is a problem later. In the litigation-happy US I imagine there are thousands of unnecessary operations every year because a doctor would rather be seen to be doing something than not. Just to be on the safe side.

The operation itself was very quick and straightforward. The doctor injected me with a local anaesthetic, which very quickly made the area numb. I could still feel the cold of the sterile wipes, though, which I found interesting. I thought anaesthetic was meant to cover hot and cold as well as pain, but apparently not in this case.

She then cut away the mole using a scalpel. Well, I assume it was a scalpel. I couldn't really see so it could have been a blunt spoon as far as I know. Someone on Twitter said their doctor used scissors. I think that would have made me quite queasy. Once the mole was removed she stitched me up.

I wasn't expecting stitches. I don't know why; it seems obvious now. I think it's because the way the operation was described to me beforehand was so offhand, so "just to be on the safe side" so "it'll only be a local anaesthetic" so "it'll only take 30 minutes" that I didn't think it would involve any consequences apart from a small scar.

But no, I have stitches. I had to keep them dry for 48 hours, which wasn't very pleasant considering I had 3 gigs in that time and got quite sweaty. Now I can wash again (to the delight of those in close contact with me, I'm sure) but I'll have these stitches in for nearly two weeks before they are removed. It's not a big deal, but they are quite itchy and I'm slightly worried about bursting them whenever I lie down or stretch for something. There is also something very odd about having a length of spiky blue thread inside your skin. I feel a little bit like Jeff Goldblum early on in The Fly, when he starts getting little coarse black hairs growing on his back...

Also, because it's not visible unless I take my top off, I don't get sympathy from people unless I specifically tell them about it. Which seems a bit gauche. Unless of course I happen to write a blog about it.

So, what have we learnt?
1. All of the medical professionals who saw me were women.
2. None of them seemed very concerned about it, but decided to do something anyway, which is certainly better than the opposite situation.
3. I should think a bit more carefully about the consequences of operations, and maybe not book 3 gigs in the 48 hours after one.
4. I am very very brave.