You couldn't make it up. Well, you could, but that would be weird.

Two stories that made me smile today, for quite different reasons:

1. The twins from Big Brother are recording a song - a cover of Barbie Girl by Aqua. They are quoted as saying: "It's a dream come true for us to record our favourite song of all time". Barbie Girl? Favourite song of all time? The apocalypse may truly be upon us.

But the quote that really made me smile in that story came from their new record company:

"It is a measure of how much viewers identified with the twins that they were the only Big Brother contestants never to have been nominated for a single eviction."

Now, I'm not exactly an avid viewer of the show, but even I know that the nominations are decided by the house mates, not the viewers. "Nasty" Nick Bateman was never nominated for eviction either. What the quote should read is: "It is a measure of our desperation for a quick buck that we take the opinions of a random group of freaks not to vote to evict the twins as somehow suggesting that they can sing and/or dance. Fuck it, it's only a cover."

And the follow-up quote is in some ways even funnier:

"They are also the only Big Brother contestants ever to have signed with a major record company."

Right. So the record label is trumpeting its own decision as somehow momentous. Translated: "They'd better sell some records or we are going to look like proper idiots."

2. A region of Russia has announced a "sex day". I think there could be some awkward conversations in H.R. offices:

"Vladimir?"
"Yes, sir?
"I've just got your holiday form for next week. You want a day off?"
"Yup."
"To have sex?"
"Uh huh."
"Right. I suppose your wife will need the day off too, then?"
"Probably just the morning to be honest."
"Okay..."
"Actually, can she just come in an hour late?"